Tag Archives: divorce

The Divorcee’s Guide to Parenting

Parenting After a DivorceMoving on from a failed relationship is overwhelming. But you can’t give in to the heartbreak, because there is life after the court grants your divorce. And you have to focus on taking care of the kids.

Your kids may take their cues for behavior from your actions and words. This means you need to carefully watch what you do and say as it can affect how they experience the divorce. While kids will react differently to the same situation, basic guidelines can help you take them through this challenging time.

Talk in a Child-Friendly Manner

Before you explain the divorce to your youngest kids, keep in mind their age. School-age kids will want details about where they will live or who will take care of them. Some kids may also act out because of the change. But they will recover and cope with assurance from you. Allow your kids to feel sad and angry about the situation, while reminding them they are still loved.

Share with Caution

Manage what you share to the kids about the situation. While you should be forthcoming, you don’t have to tell them everything. Decide what to share on a need-to-know basis, and determine whether the details are overwhelming for your kids.

Try to have a few, short conversations, which are easier to take than a huge, intense sit-down. You can also get advice from your divorce attorney about the best way to approach the talk. Lawyers have seen enough divorce cases to offer good insight.

Remain in Control

Allow your kids to know that you are feeling hurt, but reassure them that you can still take care of yourself and be there for them. You don’t have to rush the conversation, especially when you’re still upset. Wait until you are calmer before you talk to them.

Children are resilient. But they will still need your guidance during the transition. With your careful and caring approach right, the change and loss will allow them — and you — to recover.

Keys to Reducing Stress and Costs During a Divorce

During Divorce Let’s face it – a divorce causes pain and suffering, especially to the kids. And probably one of the worst things about ending your marriage is that you have to deal with the lengthy process and the costs associated with it. If you fail to handle the situation the right way, you might end up spending most of your savings and start over with very little money left in your account.

There are ways to make the process a little less stressful. Here are some keys to reducing cost and stress during a divorce.

Stop Thinking Just About Yourself

Divorce is not just about you and your spouse. You have to evaluate the situation carefully and ensure that in the end your children won’t end up being the real losers in the battle. Make decisions that put the best interests of your kids first.

Let Go of Emotions that Can Make the Situation Worse

This one is never easy and it’s understandable if you won’t be able to do it right away, but you have to try. It’s hard to deal with divorce, but you can make it easier by setting aside your pride, letting go of the feelings of contempt, and listening. Only then can you open up your mind and make the right decisions. It’s good for everyone involved in your case.

Prepare to Compromise

Court litigation is not always the best solution; experienced law firms, like Law Offices of Ian S. Mednick, may advise you on this. If there’s even a small chance of reaching a fair settlement, go for it. You can avoid the high cost associated with trials and have more time to move on with your lives.

Get the Right Help

It’s hard to make important decisions during difficult times. You need the help of an attorney who understands how the divorce law in your state works. Dealing with legal matters is easy when you have an experienced professional by your side.

Don’t let divorce become a financially draining experience. The keys to preventing a stressful and costly divorce are in your hands.

What You Can Do to Handle Your Divorce Better

Divorce AttorneyGoing through a divorce can be tough on you and your former spouse. It gets even more difficult if you have children who are going to be affected by it. You must endure the challenge and fight for your rights, however, even though you’re hurting and feeling stressed. Here are some things you can do to handle the situation better and come out as a better person.

Consult Divorce Lawyers

Divorce may be a complicated legal process, but you can simply hire a lawyer that specializes in divorce to get what you deserve in court. Before hiring, kufferlaw.com and other legal professionals recommend consulting at least three divorce attorneys. This is for you to compare their upfront costs, have an idea about their experience, and how they deal with the whole process.

Be Smart about the Timing

If your partner has an upcoming big bonus or raise, it’s better to wait for it before filing your divorce. This will qualify you to get more from the divorce. If the divorce is because of your spouse’s mistake, make sure to be the one to file first, as this gives you an advantage in the divorce proceedings.

Be Careful about Money and Documents

Your joint signatures, investment accounts, bank accounts, utilities, and deeds of trust will be thoroughly checked. It’s important that your name appears on all those to prohibit your spouse to raid them. You should also have copies of documents, such as bank statements, tax returns, mortgage and loan agreements, and credit card bills. These may come in handy in court.

Take Care of Your Children

Your children shouldn’t be suffering in this situation because they have nothing to do with it. Assure them that you love them just the same. Never alienate them because that may be your downfall in court, especially if there’s a custody battle.

These are only some of the things you must do to survive your divorce with dignity. This way, you can start all over again and become a new and better person.

You Asked: What are the Most Common Reasons Behind Divorce?

Reasons Behind Divorce

Reasons Behind DivorceThere are some well-known factors that contribute to the incidence of divorce in the United States. According to researchers, the risk of divorce goes up if the couple gets married at a very early age. They are also likely to split up if they have limited education and struggle with money. Surprisingly, living together before marriage also ranks high in the reasons for divorce.

Here are more reasons couples go through divorce, which, according to studies, happens to up to 50% of marriages that go through such factors:

Premarital pregnancy

Many young people often find themselves in a situation they are not ready for. One of the most trying is pregnancy. It’s a huge responsibility that is often challenging for couples, even those who have known each other or have been married for a long time. When a young, unmarried couple goes through it, their first reaction is often panic. In many cases the challenges that the new responsibility bring is enough to cause a breakup. Those who think marriage is a solution are no different.

Divorced family

According to Matthewsfamilylawyers.com, many divorce lawyers in Denver, Colorado know that people who come from a “broken” family are more likely to get divorced themselves. This is mostly because parents have the most influence over their children as they are growing up. Decision-making styles become similar. The way a child handles problems sometimes demonstrates how the child’s parents would’ve handled the same crisis. This is why many people with divorced parents also have a higher likelihood of doing the same thing.

Cheating

Although this is not the most common of all reasons people get divorced, it is perhaps the most well-known. It is what the media covers among celebrity couples, so it has become part of pop culture knowledge. Most people who catch a partner cheating look at one of two choices: work on the marriage, or end it. Guess which the more popular choice is.

You might be going through one of these problems, but that doesn’t mean divorce is your only option. That said, however, know that when the only way to end your suffering or to protect your kids is to end the relationship, divorce is not such a bad option.

The Impact of Your Divorce on Your Kids

Divorcing Parents

Divorcing Parents When parents part ways – regardless of the reason – there is a probability that their children’s sense of security would fall apart as well. The young ones may feel alone and abandoned. Worse, they might think that their folks don’t love them anymore. When they realized that there’s no chance of getting their mom and dad back together, they may also feel helpless and depressed.

If you are going through a divorce, the best way to help your children adjust to the changes is to understand what they are feeling.

Rejection

This is what children usually feel when one of the parents moved out. To help ease their worries, talk to them about the visitation arrangements. They may still feel bad about what’s happening, but it somehow reassures them that they can still get in touch with their mom or dad anytime. If you need help, ask a competent family lawyer in Colorado Springs for advice on how to best approach the situation, Shaynelaw.com suggests.

Hopelessness

At the onset of the parent’s separation, the children will be in denial and still hopes that the situation is only temporary. Once they learn that reconciliation is out of the question, they will start to feel hopeless. Provide comfort to your kids by telling them that some things will not change despite the circumstances. Explain to them that they can still enjoy a loving relationship with you.

Guilt

It is natural for children of divorced parents to think that they are somehow responsible for the situation. Make sure to set the record straight right away, so your children will not blame themselves. Explain to them patiently that they don’t have anything to do with the divorce. If possible, think about telling them the real reason for the breakdown of your marriage.

No amount of hugs and explanation can lessen the impact of divorce on children. But being honest and providing constant reassurance can make a difference in helping your kids cope with the sudden changes in your family life. Make an effort to restore their sense of stability and show them that you still love them.

New Beginnings: Accepting Your Divorce

Divorce

Divorce in Greenwood VillageIt is hard to accept that your happy ending is just an illusion. When your relationship is falling apart, with your spouse asking for divorce, it is so easy to feel betrayed and hopeless. This is just natural; ending what was once happy and beautiful is just heartbreaking and hard to accept.

Breaking up is hard to do, but dwelling in the past and thinking things over and over again will just make it more difficult for you. What could help you past your breakup is realizing that you have to accept that it is over. The secret to moving forward after a painful divorce is having an accepting attitude.

Welcome the New Reality

Accepting your new reality involves giving up resentment and regret. It is important to let go of those negative emotions to start a new beginning and have the freedom to move forward. Change, however, is a matter of conscious choice, effort, and commitment.

Keep in mind that enemies in the recovery process are not complicated legal process or your spouse. The negative feelings you carry within, including, fear, guilt, and pessimism are things that will make it hard for you to recover. Reading self-help books or seeing a counselor can help you deal with negative emotions and boost your self-esteem.

Jumpstart Your New Life

Divorce Matters notes that getting legal and psychological assistance can help, as both can help you navigate the whole process of divorce. The choice to jumpstart your new life still depends on you. It is important to get out of denial and believe that there is life after divorce.

If you find it hard to get on with your life, start small. You can re-arrange the furniture pieces in your house, enroll in a cooking class, or start a new hobby to have something you can get busy with. The key to starting over again is loosening the bonds of negative patterns that have controlled you. To make the most of the present, you need to let go of the past.

Don’t let divorce define who you are. While you may no longer be with you better half, you’re still 100% of who you really are.

Dating Before the Finalization of Divorce: End Things Without a Third Party

Divorce“Can I finally move on with my life by seeing other people now?”

Most divorcees often ask this question. After years of dealing with a loveless relationship, it is only natural to seek a new love. The stress of the proceedings causes you to long for someone who will make you feel new again. But should you date immediately or during your divorce proceedings?

The simple answer is: “Not until you finalize your divorce.”

Answering the Big WHY?

You might wonder: “Why can’t I have some fun during this stressful period?” There are numerous strategic and legal reasons as to why you should refrain from dating during the proceedings.

Emotions are still raw for both parties during the separation. When you meet someone else, it is as if you are rubbing salt into your soon-to-be ex-spouse’s wounds. Doing so often leads to messier and more difficult divorce proceedings. Your partner may seek revenge to compensate for the pain.

Legally, the courts can consider dating during divorce as adultery. Divorceattorneyinlongisland.com, a county divorce lawyer in Suffolk, believes that this can affect the outcome of your separation in terms of property division and spousal support.

Think About the Children

Dating immediately during a separation does not set a good example for the children. The mere fact that their parents are separating already casts doubt about commitment; do not push it further by showcasing your new beau.

During proceedings, it always pays to put the children first. The same applies in this case. Your children are still recuperating from the idea that Mom and Dad are divorcing. It will only hurt and confuse them more, which takes away precious time they need with you.

End Your Marriage without a Third Party

As much as you want to meet someone new, keep in mind that dating can complicate the situation. Your divorce calls for focus on more important matters, such as the new house, split holidays, custody issues, and emotional dealings. Rather than subject yourself to a new relationship, end your marriage without someone else—give yourself time to heal without someone else.

If you just ended your marriage, do the right thing and wait for the finalization of your divorce before saying “Yes!” to another love. Do not complicate the situation further with love—just wait for it. It will come eventually.