Sticks and Stones Break Your Bones; Painful Words Break You

Divorce Attorney in Colorado SpringsThe old saying claims, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” For a while, it may be applicable to you, but not in the long run.

Spouses will always have an exchange of unpleasant words, especially during arguments. But in some cases, one of the spouses puts up with the endless curses and degrading remarks. The constant abuse with words proves that its effect is just as bad as being physically hit.

There’s a reason most of Colorado Springs' divorce attorneys recommend separation due to verbal abuse. Here’s why:

Torn Up Self-Esteem

Verbal abuse negatively affects anyone’s self-esteem to the point that the abused spouse believes he or she is worthless, ugly, and no one could put up with him/her. Even if the abuser claims they did not mean to inflict the verbal wounds, the damage has already been done.

Manipulative abusers would reason that their abused spouse is too sensitive, which stirs doubt. They think, “Maybe, it’s my entire fault. I shouldn’t be too touchy next time.” Eventually, whenever the verbal abuse begins, the abused spouse will think they will never be good enough, which causes further damage to their self-esteem.

Enduring the Slow Torture

Verbal abuse often ends up two ways: the abused spouse leaves or stays. The former seems like the obvious option, but some spouses choose to put up with the abusive behavior. They determinedly stay, trying to make it work no matter how much the words hurt. In their opinion, their spouse will eventually change—all they have to do is wait.

In some cases, waiting works, but in most, it’s not a guarantee. Nothing the abused spouse asks or says can change the relationship. It’s an issue of control and drastic changes.

Individuals in such relationships have the choice to stay or leave; it is completely up to them. If words will never hurt in the same way stones do, they can wait for a change. If the change does not come, however, they are free to change their circumstances.