How to Come to a Parenting Agreement

child undergoing a divorce

child undergoing a divorceDivorce is hard on the whole family. However, it is especially hard for children. Many children feel that the divorce is their fault. This feeling becomes stronger when parents fight about parenting rights. It is important to try to come to a parenting agreement without going to court.

Family lawyers in Wellington can help by keeping the child’s best interest at the centre of the discussion and get approval from the court. If you need advice on how to come to a parenting agreement, find out what you need to do.

Choose Neutral Ground

Talking about parenting time with your ex-spouse can be emotional. You do not want to do it where the child can hear you. You should choose a place that does not put either of you at the defensive. It could be at a quiet restaurant or a mutual friend’s house.

Have someone at hand to keep the conversation on point, such as a mediator. The important thing is to focus on finding the best way to make the situation as easy for the child as possible.

Avoid Pointing Fingers

It can be hard to keep tempers from flaring when talking with an ex-spouse. This is especially true if your divorce was not amicable. Pointing fingers and placing blame is very tempting.

However, that is not constructive. This is about the well-being of your child. You should put your differences aside so that you can talk about how the child can spend time and have a relationship with both of you.

Look for Compromises

A child needs to have a good relationship with both parents. Try to find ways to make sure the child spends quality time with both you and your ex-spouse without making the child feel like a ping-pong ball.

A way is to arrange a schedule — for example, you could have them on weekdays, your ex-spouse on weekends. You could also have alternate weeks with the child. Also consider trades for holidays. For example, you can have them on Christmas; while your ex-spouse could have them on New Year’s Day.

Coming to a parenting agreement without fighting is a big step in the right direction. It will help your child come to terms with divorce. Family lawyers can help create a parenting agreement that the court will approve.